Thankful: Day 18

I am so thankful for my daughter. I can't believe the conversations we can have already and she is only three years old. I plan to nurture that relationship so she will always know I love her unconditionally and I am always there for her.

My bond with my mother is something I cherish. I hope that one day my daughter will cherish our relationship as much. She is such a beautiful person, inside and out. I look forward to will enjoy watching her mature and grow (but there is no hurry).

I am so blessed to be able to focus on being a mother at this point in her life.

Having Ice Cream on our latest Mother-Daughter Date

Thankful: Day 17

I am thankful for technology and social media.

There are many who disparage Facebook and consider it a guilty pleasure. I have had moments like that but if it were not for social media I would not have been able to keep up with and make the friendships that I have made.

Social media is a unique platform that helps you to get to know people on a different level than in face-to-face interactions. I have been able to grow friendships even long-distance because of it. I have even met friends through IRL friends who shared common interests (parenting, homeschooling, gluten-free cooking, etc.) and while these friends are not a replacement for personal interaction, I still value them. I know who to go to with advice because I read their blogs and I have a background into their experience.

I have been kind of slow to get into Skype but after moving an hour away from our families, Skype has helped our children interact with those we can no longer see every day. Children (at least mine) have a hard time associating a voice over a phone with the person and Skype adds the visual element that helps them make that connection. My mother reads books to my 3 year old sometimes and it gives her some Nonna time that she misses.

Thankful: Day 16

I am thankful for MOPS. Any mom with little ones would benefit and be encouraged by the experience.

It is hard for me to jump into big social situations. It is even harder for me to leave my children with people I don't know, even for just a couple hours. Through this experience I have learned that I do need this time for building up myself as a mom.

The few conversations I have had so far with my group have been uplifting and encouraging. The speakers have been interesting. I LOVE the crafts!

Thankful: Day 15

I am thankful for my age. I turned 35 this year. I don't feel that "old" really. I still feel like a kid in many ways. (Parenthood will do that to you). Looking back I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. My life is SO much better! Did I accomplish all of my "goals"? No. Am I rich and "successful"? Not by societal standards, but yes in many other ways. I love my life more now than ever and I am happier than I ever thought I would be.

My perspective of self-worth has changed so much in the last few years. I am thankful for perspective. I am happy I am not who and where I thought I should be 10 or 15 years ago. I wouldn't trade who I am now for my 20 year old body.

My life isn't perfect but it is pretty great. I am thankful that I can see that. I am thankful for the help I have had by my husband, friends, family and Holy Spirit to see that.

Thankful: Day $@#*M%*&

Today I am thankful for grace and forgiveness. As a parent, I have many opportunities to feel I fall short of what I "should be", but I am learning to forgive myself, pick myself up and do my best again every day.

The beauty of grace and forgiveness is that it has a power that is totally counterintuitive and yet so beautifully brilliant. I think that is why people struggle with faith in our Lord and struggle with acceptance of His grace. You cannot earn it, you are given it. The only thing standing between us and salvation is faith.

In order to accept the Lord's forgiveness, we have to be able to forgive ourselves. It is easy to condemn ourselves, and there is a time for that, it is not a step that can be skipped, but then we must forgive ourselves in order to accept grace. I am thankful that I am learning to forgive myself.

I am naturally very hard on myself. Some have called me a perfectionist. That doesn't mean I have a perfect house, on the contrary, I can't EVER have a perfect house BECAUSE I'm a perfectionist. However, I am learning to accept "good enough" and prioritizing some things and accepting I cannot do everything.

So I've missed a few "thankful" posts. I would have liked to stay on top of this, but I started again today and will try to continue. Forgiving myself for my shortfall allows me to continue on more good work that I would not have done if I could not forgive myself. So I am thankful for it and for the grace of God who supports me each day in my growth as a parent, wife, daughter and friend.

At the Pumpkin Patch. No makeup. Just family memories.

Thankful: Day 8

I am thankful for my home. We downsized when we moved and got rid of a lot of stuff. I am still getting rid of stuff because I love living in a simplified, efficient home. It is possible to have too much space. Downsizing really helps you focus on what is really important in life.

Sure it is difficult when you have a lot of crafty hobbies. Keeping all the materials for homeschooling accessible has been a challenge. I wouldn't want a bigger space right now. Maybe in the future, but right now I am happy we have this home. I love the people in it. It is serving our purpose.

Thankful: Day 7

I am so thankful for my mother. Today I learned that even our great relationship still has room to grow. We are still learning from each other.

I believe the Lord put us together for a reason. We are very close and if she were not my mother we may still be very good friends, but we do have very different personalities. We have very different love languages and sometimes we don't seem to communicate as efficiently as we should be able to for all the years that we've known each other. But what is awesome is that we always give each other the benefit of the doubt and we always work things out.

Today I was desperately lacking sleep. My son is 10 months old and has reverted back to waking every 2 hours at night. I don't remember when I had a full night's sleep. I got up this morning feeling like I was going insane from lack of REM. I had to consciously check myself every time I opened my mouth to make sure I wasn't snapping at anyone. I was about to bug a close friend by email and ask her advice when I realized I should probably call my mom first.

So I called her. She asked me if I wanted her to come a day early as she had planned to come tomorrow for a visit. I told her I just really wanted her advice. She said she had refrained from offering her advice until I asked but that she thought I should try cutting out coffee. She suggested to try to cut it out for a week and see if his sleeping improves. She said it could be that he doesn't process it as quickly and it keeps him up at night even though I drink it in the morning. It could also be that because he doesn't sleep enough during the day that he is over tired and wound up at night and can't stay asleep.

I humbly accepted her advice, desperate for anything that might help. I can't express how much I appreciated her waiting for me to ask her opinion. While she is full of wisdom and life experience she has, in the past, had a tendency to offer unsolicited advice. While it is a mild annoyance for me, I have tried to talk to her about it because it may aggravate other people more who don't know how well meaning she is and don't give her the benefit of the doubt that I do. I admit many times I have rebelliously rolled my eyes and ignored her advice, only to eventually realize she was right. It is much easier to follow her advice when I ask for it.

I realized she is learning to hold back and I am learning to swallow some pride.

Besides all that she is a great help with the kids and they love her. She did end up coming a day early. I got a much needed two hour nap. I feel so blessed and a little more sane. She helped distract the kids so I could focus on making dinner. We tag teamed the dishes and I'm kind of caught up.

I love my mom.

Thankful: Day 6

I am regretfully thankful for modern medicine and that God guided the decisions of those who had my life in their hands. Though I have a hard time trusting doctors and stay away from them as much as I can, I have to admit that they have one thing definitely figured out: emergency and acute care. When I have been led to seek medical care, I have been blessed with some skilled individuals.

I am not exaggerating when I say modern medicine has saved my life three times. Once, when I was 15 I would have died were it not for intense antibiotic treatments for impetigo that I developed as a complication of shingles. Two years ago an emergency surgery removed an infection that was a complication from Crohns disease that if we had caught it any later may have caused me to die from sepsis. The doctors were actually surprised I didn't have a blood infection already at the time. Then when my son was born, I was going into liver failure from cholestasis of pregnancy. The cesarean saved both our lives. His cord was wrapped around his neck tightly three times and he would not have survived a vaginal delivery.

I have had issues with some treatments for chronic illnesses. I'm not a fan of prescription drugs. I have met great doctors, mediocre doctors and downright horrible doctors. Overall, though, I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful to be a mom and to have both my children.

Thankful: Day 5

I am thankful for my husband's ADHD. We have faced some challenges because of it, but it is a part of who he is. Some of the benefits are that he is very creative, intelligent, innovative, resourceful and great with our children. He has found a job niche, which is really the key for people with ADHD. He thrives in that environment because 1) it is in a field that interests him, 2) he can be himself and is appreciated for it (I'm pretty sure the Symantec business model is designed around the ADHD mind), and 3) he has plenty of opportunity for growth which keeps him interested and building his career.

His diagnosis led to many positive things in our lives and it explained a lot. He has grown in confidence over the last year and I hope that will continue. Confidence is something many people with ADHD struggle with and I am happy to be there to see his grow.

If you know someone with ADHD or suspect they have it, or if you suspect you might have it, a great book is Driven to Distraction by Dr. Hallowel and Dr. Ratey. We found it at our local library, but here it is on Amazon.

Thankful: Day 4

I am thankful for hardships today. Our character is defined not by how we act when everything is peachy keen, but by how we make it through hardships. It isn't easy, but when you find yourself past the proverbial "light at the end of the tunnel" and you are looking the other way through the tunnel, you sometimes find how much you have grown through all of it. I know I have matured immensely through our struggles.

“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 

--1 Thessalonians 5:18

I don't know why we had to go through two very rough years of bad health, David not being able to get a job, then finally getting a job, then getting laid off, then a difficult pregnancy. Through it all, God was there and we had everything we needed. For that I am thankful. It definitely brought us closer to Him and to each other. The struggles are never going to be gone, at least not on this side of heaven, but we hope we have a break for a while at least. 

Even if we don't have a break, I know God is with us. I know we have each other. I am thankful for those I can lean on when times are rough. I am glad to be there when times are rough for others. 

Thankful: Day 3

I am thankful for my wonderful husband of 7 years. We have been together for almost 11 years and I can't imagine my life without him. Through our struggles we have grown closer. I could not ask for a more loving, supportive, kind, helpful, patient, understanding man to be my husband and father to my children. He is proving to be the awesome father I imagined he could be when we met. I feel so strongly that we work as a team, using our individual strengths to head this family and to parent our children.

The trust and loyalty we share is more than I could have imagined possible. I respect and love him more every day even though I didn't know that was possible. This year I discovered a blog called Happy Wives Club. It has been both encouraging and affirming. It isn't sugar coating, but realistic happiness in marriage for the long haul.

Thankful: Day 2

I am so thankful for my beautiful, healthy, amazing, brilliant, charming and totally awesome children!! We had a complicated and dramatic birth experience with our little (who am I kidding, BIG!) Tiger. He was early, in distress, with a cord wrapped around his head three times. If I had not been experiencing liver problems and getting checked so routinely he may not have made it to term. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that he is alive and healthy.

His big sister loves him so much and she is teaching him how to share (most of the time) and likes playing and cuddling with him. I could not ask for a sweeter little girl. I am so happy that they have each other. I know they will be good friends as they grow up. It is something I have prayed for since before they were born.

Thankful: Day 1

Last year I participated in the "Thankful Posts" Meme. It might be cheesy but I love it. So I'm doing it again this year because I have had so many new things to be thankful for. We had so many changes in the last year.

I am thankful of where we live. There are so many blessings that came from this move and I will write more specifically about them in the coming days. Today I am so thankful we were able to move here back in January to be closer to David's job. I know now more than ever that it was the right move for us.

MOPS: Family Goals

There was a wonderful speaker today at my MOPS meeting. She spoke about the process she has gone through for setting family goals. Lately I have been trying to be more intentional in my life and this really fit right in to what I have been trying to accomplish. She stated how only 3% of people write down their goals and something like 17% make goals, but don't write them down. Everybody else just goes with the flow without making goals.

MOPS Craft Project: Pumpkins

While I'm definitely in the 17%, I decided that I am going to now be in the 3%. Of course I have written down some goals over the years, but I never thought to organize them the way she described. I am a very "organized" person in some ways but not so much in other ways. In an effort to achieve organization, I keep a bunch of lists. Some are on paper and some in my head. I am not able to keep track of everything without my lists. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to make a very specific written list of my goals.

I began on paper to set my priorities:

1. God
2. Marriage
3. My Children
4. Extended Family
5. Friends
6. Community

Based on this list I went on to list categories of my life I would like to set goals for. Then I numbered them in a general priority. In each category I wanted to be sure to write down some accomplishments as well as what I am trying to achieve. I think it is important to see how far you've come as well as looking at where you want to go. 

GOALS:

1. Faith: I have a prayer list started and I do spend time reading the Bible both myself and with the children, but this area definitely needs work. I would like to set aside time for a daily devotional. Consistent Bible study. Daily Bible reading. Reading the bible daily with the kids. Family worship. Find a church family. Sharing my faith with confidence when the Spirit moves me.
2. Marriage: We have both become more intentional about our marriage. We make sure to have at least one date per month. We do spend time talking about the budget, the children and things we would like to do together. I would like to set a more regular time to plan our goals. I would like to set aside a weekly date at home since we can't really afford to go out more than once per month. 
3. Family: I love being a SAHM! Homeschooling right now is about giving them varied experiences and having fun. We are starting to make some friends here and we are doing weekly activities to get the kids out of the house. I have a general curriculum going for the children's preschool. David and I both have one-on-one time with each of the children and I want to make sure to continue that. I want to continue to get my introverted self out to let the kids make friends and learn to interact with a variety of different people. I want to continue to schedule outings for the children both during the week and on weekends with Daddy. 
4. Finances: The only way we were able to move closer to David's work this year was because of our family commitment to getting out of debt and saving up cash for the move. We have been doing great for over two years now thanks to Dave Ramsey and following the "baby steps". I would like to have regular monthly budget meetings, not just when there is a change in the budget. 
5. Household: After getting settled into our new home here, it took a while, but I was able to set a semi-routine for household maintenance. I have tried charts and the index card system, but what works best for me is a general "schedule" of chores. I put a few on each day of the week and try to get them done that day. (I actually typed up and laminated this weekly schedule.) Spreading them out helps me to feel like I can accomplish something each day without getting overwhelmed. If I can't get everything done one week, on the following week I focus on what I didn't get done the week before. One of my goals since before we moved is to reduce "STUFF" and we are still working on that. It is a constant process because STUFF continues to magically appear in our home. One thing that stuck with me is the "Give Away/Put Away/Throw Away" Boxes idea from a book I once read on home organization. I would like to make it a monthly activity to go around the house and sort things that are laying around into one of these three categories, preferably with help from the family. Reducing clutter is a cyclical job just like dishes and laundry. It never ends.
6. Health: We are good about yearly checkups with the doctor. We eat gluten-free and mostly lower-carbohydrate for the adults. We like to get out of the house and take a walk together. I think we are all overdue for dental visits. I would like to get on the elliptical at least 3x/week and do at least 1/2 hour of yoga on the days that I don't. Right now it isn't always attainable, but it is a good goal to shoot for. I want to continue learning about essential oils and prevention of illnesses. 
7. Studies and Personal Growth: I am really fascinated with essential oils right now, so I will continue my research. I would like to teach a class on Essential Oils 101 for some friends who have asked for one. I also want to read some books on Curriculum Options for Homeschooling my children.
8. Extended Family and Friends: We keep in touch by phone, email and Facebook with many friends and family. I want to plan monthly trips to visit my mother and in-laws with the children during weekdays and at least once a month with David on a weekend day. We have talked about a trip to visit extended family in Alaska and I would like to set a date and make more specific plans. I want to be good about keeping up with birthday cards, emails, sending pictures of the kids to people who aren't on Facebook and reading my friends' blogs. I want to make more of an effort to be a loving support of those around me. I want to set aside time to spend with my friends who live near and time to talk on the phone with those who live far away. This is something that is very difficult for me.
9. Crafts: I love crafts. Nothing says "I care about you" like something hand made. I especially like useful things. I am very creative but not as organized about this as I would like to be. This year I have actually planned and gathered the materials for making Christmas gifts with plenty of time to make them. I want to set a goal to plan making Christmas and Birthday gifts ahead (including a budget) so I am not rushing to finish at the last minute. I would like to have a stock of handmade gifts to give for unexpected events and maybe even to bring to craft fairs or craft exchanges. 
10. Communication: We are pretty good at staying in touch with family and friends through different methods. I keep up two Blogs, one for my family and homeschooling (the one you are reading) and also my Essential Wisdom & Nutrition Blog which has evolved from just nutrition to include also essential oil supplementation. I feel kind of scattered with blogging sometimes, but  I have made improvements and maybe by setting some goals it will all come together. Some people read my blogs and others just read Facebook. Some refuse to go on the internet at all unless they are checking their email only, so I try to send them more personal updates. I would like to set a schedule to be more consistent in my blog writing so people we care about will know where to go to read updates. I want to be consistent about sending birthday cards and letting the people I care about know that I do.

I might add more later but this is what I came up with today during the children's nap time. I definitely need to focus on just a couple goals at a time, but it feels good to have it all written down. What goals are you working on? What goals have you met recently? Do you write down your goals?

Thankful Day 22

Happy Thanksgiving!

My husband volunteered to work today so while I miss him, I am thankful for double-time-and-a half pay he will get and appreciate his desire to put money aside so he can take a week off when the baby comes. I am so happy to see him enjoying his work, excelling through challenges and feeling recognized for his strengths and talents.

I am thankful for my darling little girl who I took to my Midwife's appointment yesterday. She interacted so sweetly with an 11 month old little boy. She brought him toys and talked to him. She got down to his level and just showed me a glimpse of what a great big sister she is going to be. I had tears in my eyes because of her sweetness. She is SO EXCITED about baby brother. It warms my heart and I pray that they will be close.

I am so thankful for my mother. She drove us to Eugene on Tuesday to look at apartments, then yesterday she drove us to my Midwife appointment. I am kind of on a modified bed-rest. Basically I can't do much but I don't have to lay down. Whenever I get up I have contractions, whenever I walk I have contractions, etc. They stop when I am not doing anything. The midwife says to take it easy and that it is a sign I need to rest. So I am thankful for my Mom who did all the dishes and laundry for me yesterday, plus all the driving lately. I don't know what I would do without her help.

I am thankful for all of my friends, wherever you are. I hope you are with loved ones.

Thankful Day 21

We took a last-minute drive up to Eugene/Springfield yesterday to look at an apartment. I am thankful for my mom being willing to drive Blueberry and me up to the appointment and that David was able to meet us there.

I am also thankful that despite getting very little sleep the night before that I had a great day and that I made it through the day. I am also glad that I only had one Braxton Hicks contraction all day. Blueberry was so cooperative.

Overall it was a great day.

Thankful Day 20

Saturday night David and I got to go out on a date. We were going to go see Wreck it Ralph (because we are nerds like that) but it was sold out. We ended up seeing Skyfall instead. It was really good. We then went to a delicious meal out to Rodeo Steakhouse. We took our time, talked and enjoyed our meal. It was awesome!

We can't afford to go out once a week like some couples, but we have a great time when we do. Setting a monthly budget ahead of time helps me to enjoy it more because I'm wondering (in the back of my mind) if we "should be spending money on this." I have come to enjoy date nights much more since we set a budget for them.

I am so thankful for date nights and the special time with my husband. I enjoy his company MORE all the time. He is my best friend, the best dad and a wonderful husband!

Thankful Day 19

I have made mistakes in my life, but I also learn pretty quickly. I rarely make the same mistake twice. I also have the ability to learn from other people's mistakes. I am grateful for these abilities.

It is hard for me to regret anything I have done (or not done) in my life because all of my choices have brought me here. I am grateful for where I am despite any actions that may have been judged as errors. I have tried to listen to the Spirit and I am so grateful for where my life has led me so far. I often see the hand of God where I had struggled and was lifted out of it. I am grateful for the strength and resolve that I have gained through experience. I am grateful for where I am, my home and family.

Thankful Day 18

The Little Things

I am not a material girl. I don't need the biggest and best of everything. I am a huge fan of useful things, even if they come to me second-hand. Things that I use often, that make my daily tasks easier, faster or just more fun. Some are just sentimental. Things I am thankful for because I don't want to take anything for granted.

Here are my top ten:

10) If you ever had to fiddle with ice trays then you also would appreciate an ice maker. I really appreciate that we had the plumbing put in so we could get a fridge with an ice maker when we moved in. We use it daily.

9) We bought a used van this year, cash. It does not have a perfect body. It has a few quirks, but it is comfortable for our family and it runs well. To us it represents no more debt and family first. Even David is starting to enjoy driving it (though he may not admit it). Already it has proved to be useful on long drives and group adventures.

8) The computer is one of the most useful tools in my house. I use it to organize our household and bills. I keep in contact with friends and family who mean so much to me. I keep and organize our photos. I tried using paper to do a lot of these things and first of all, it didn't work; secondly it is such a waste of paper.

7) This is my favorite mug because David gave it to me. He and Blueberry picked it out when they were out on a Daddy-Daughter date. I love the colors and I love elephants!

Favorite Mug

6) French Press. For coffee! (duh!)

5) I remember my mom wasn't able to afford a Cuisinart Food Processor until I was in high school. I got to use it a lot but I really don't need all of the different blades. Years ago I got a mini-Cuisinart. It is perfect! It lasted nearly 10 years and I recently replaced it with another one. It does everything I need it to do. I mostly use it for chopping stuff for soups and sauces. It also chops nuts for cookies and breads. Recently I found it to be the perfect thing to mix the cheese and flour for gluten-free Cheeze-Its.

4) I am thankful my mom taught me how to sew. I use my sewing machine to mend clothes, make clothes, make gifts and alter clothes. It saves so much money to be able to alter my family's clothes. David's pants, Blueberry's dresses and pants, my shirts and dresses. It is a great tool!

3) My smart phone. While I am looking forward to upgrading when our contract renews next month because our phones have started malfunctioning, it is fun to have. One of the nice things of not having the newest and best whenever it comes out is really appreciating it when you can upgrade.

2) Using my glass tea pot makes me happy, mostly because David gave it to me so I think of him whenever I make myself some tea. I enjoy seeing the loose leaf tea swirl around in the hot water.

1) I use my Kitchen Aid Mixer just about every day. It is the single most useful tool in the kitchen.


There are other things that didn't make the top 10 list that are worth mentioning only because they are things that we do take for granted. Running water and indoor plumbing. My MIL told me that in their first house when they were married they did not have indoor plumbing. I know I take it for granted, but I want to take a moment to acknowledge that I appreciate running water. I think electricity goes in this category too. Access to food and healthcare like we have is not seen everywhere in the world. Even those of us who live modestly in this country, live in luxury compared to some people around the world. May we never stop being thankful for those "little things".

Thankful Day 17

I am thankful I have less than 9 weeks left before my due date. Pregnancy is a wonderful time. I love the expectation of a new family member. I love the preparation and planning. I love feeling the baby move and kick. I really love it. I cherish it because it is a fleeting experience. Towards the end it feels like "forever" but it is such a small part of a mother's life, almost forgotten once she meets her little one. The aches and pains are annoying, but you take the bad with the good. I am thankful I can nap when my 2yo naps and catch up on the sleep that I don't get at night.

Towards the end, in the final trimester, things are almost fully prepared for the new little person. It becomes a waiting game. Waiting and a little bit of "holding on" because one does not need to be too eager. We look forward to meeting our little one, but we want him to come when he is ready and not a minute sooner. The mental preparation is also completing, I remember having finished most of my book list from my doula friend by this time in my last pregnancy.

The second time around it is so different. There is less fear about what could happen. There is less apprehension about the delivery and breastfeeding. We held off a move so I could have the same midwife I had with the first delivery (and she even cancelled a conference to be around for my due date, bless her heart!) Even my husband is less nervous. He is "been there, done that, ready to do it again!" He was great last time and so I know he will be great again.

So, yes, we are waiting. Making the most of this time. Enjoying the moment. And it is grand!

Ultrasound September 2012