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Showing posts with label being real. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being real. Show all posts

Thursday, March 13, 2014

MOPS: Marriage and Connection Points

Spring Banner
 I don't make it to MOPS every time, but when I do I find that I'm blessed by being there. Today's speakers came to talk about Marriage. It is a broad topic, but they focused on building relationships.

I appreciated the focus on Connection Points because it is something I have been thinking about lately. They defined them as Activities that you enjoy doing together that bring you closer together. Not just in a marriage but with other relationships as well.

We have things we like to do together. It is easier on weekends. We make sure we take a date night once per month and then we have stay-home-movie-dates when the kids go to sleep. We like to do things as a family, especially when the weather is nice, but we find things to do in the winter too.

In the interest of intentional living I have been thinking of other ways to connect with the people who matter to me in my life. Before I was married or had children I used to spend a lot more time doing things only I enjoyed. Lately I have set aside some things that exclude the others that I care about. Of course I have held onto some, but I don't seem to care as much about doing things just for myself. I have also learned to enjoy things I never did before because of how much David or the kids enjoy them. When you love someone their enthusiasm can be influential.

Moving towards others is more difficult for introverts because we can be quite happy spending a day at home by ourselves, but that doesn't mean we don't need people in our lives or don't enjoy doing things with others. By thinking of things we can enjoy together, we can grow our relationships.

As a family we like to:

  • Go for drives
  • Watch movies
  • Go hiking
  • Play board games
  • Explore (urban or wilderness)
  • Take pictures (we are not professional by any means but we have fun)
  • Laugh, Play and Be silly
  • Read together
  • Cook together
  • Work on projects together
What does your family like to do together?


This project was from the last MOPS meeting. Tile Coasters

Monday, November 25, 2013

Nice Mommy Only Works Days

I love the theme of MOPS this year. It is all about embracing the "Beautiful Mess" that is our lives. Embracing the story and who we are. In the MOPS magazine (actual paper, flip-the-pages from back to front magazine) I read an article entitled "Night Shift Mommy" and it was quite convicting to me. I feel similarly that the kids' bed time is my time to "clock out"and check out and I get grumpy when they get up wanting more from me between bedtime and morning. As the writer says "Nice mommy only works days!", but also with the lack of sleep Night Shift Mommy has been working days too because Nice mommy is just too tired.

I love my children and they need me 24/7. They need me at my best and I don't get to clock out. The best I can do is get a couple of hours "off" on weekends when Daddy is home, and I need to make the most of that. I need to make sure I get enough sleep even if it means going to bed when they do, even though I would like to stay up and watch something with my honey or just read for a while.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Thankful: Day 15

I am thankful for my age. I turned 35 this year. I don't feel that "old" really. I still feel like a kid in many ways. (Parenthood will do that to you). Looking back I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. My life is SO much better! Did I accomplish all of my "goals"? No. Am I rich and "successful"? Not by societal standards, but yes in many other ways. I love my life more now than ever and I am happier than I ever thought I would be.

My perspective of self-worth has changed so much in the last few years. I am thankful for perspective. I am happy I am not who and where I thought I should be 10 or 15 years ago. I wouldn't trade who I am now for my 20 year old body.

My life isn't perfect but it is pretty great. I am thankful that I can see that. I am thankful for the help I have had by my husband, friends, family and Holy Spirit to see that.

Hugging Style

I read this post about hugs and it is just too funny! I grew up with an Italian mom and American dad. We lived in Italy until I was 7 and I went through a bit of culture shock when I moved to the states. 

Between hugs, kisses on the cheek, it was ALL so confusing at first. Social norms were very stressful for me to learn as a young unidentified introvert. They used to call me "shy" but I wasn't really, I like being around people but I don't like being the center of attention and I especially don't like drawing attention to myself by doing something awkward. Over the years I opted to take my cues from those around me. "When in Rome!" right? I don't mind hugs but I rarely initiate unless it is a family member or very good friend and that is the kind of relationship we have established already.

I am trying to teach my own children to respect the personal space of others and I don't force them to hug even family unless they want to. I think my in-laws were uncomfortable (maybe even offended) with this at first, but I think they understand now that my 3 year old enthusiastically goes up to them and wants a hug all on her own initiative. I hope it is so much more meaningful to them than an automatic, imposed action. I find my children are naturally affectionate to those around them and they model the behavior that they see without being forced to.

As social creatures I think we need non-sexual physical interaction, though individual needs may vary greatly. You might even call it a need for platonic intimacy, which gets kind of confusing for teenagers approaching puberty and even young adults. As a society we may help our youth to recognize this need as a way to prevent pre-marital sex. We all need affection, but there is a time between puberty and marriage that we don't have many socially acceptable outlets. I theorize that it may be this unfulfilled need that we are not addressing as the average age people get married gets higher and it may contribute to the high incidence of premarital sex. (I personally don't make it my business what people do in private, but when they involve children either by influence or by conception, it becomes everyone's problem.)

On the flip side, some people feel that any physical contact is potentially dangerous for becoming inappropriate. I would argue that our puritanical values have made even hugging awkward for some who fear temptation or even just the appearance of evil. When in close proximity, it is easy to make a wrong move by accident and cause an extremely awkward moment. For this reason, many err on the side of caution and just don't hug. In an effort to set clear boundaries, some people miss out on a natural source of legal dopamine. Hugs can counter depression.

I personally don't feel that hugs are "too intimate" at all. Intent is the key. I cannot control another person's intent, but I know my own. For me it is a friendly gesture of support that communicates something words cannot. In some situations words are the wrong thing to say. 

What is your hugging "style"?


Thursday, November 14, 2013

Thankful: Day $@#*M%*&

Today I am thankful for grace and forgiveness. As a parent, I have many opportunities to feel I fall short of what I "should be", but I am learning to forgive myself, pick myself up and do my best again every day.

The beauty of grace and forgiveness is that it has a power that is totally counterintuitive and yet so beautifully brilliant. I think that is why people struggle with faith in our Lord and struggle with acceptance of His grace. You cannot earn it, you are given it. The only thing standing between us and salvation is faith.

In order to accept the Lord's forgiveness, we have to be able to forgive ourselves. It is easy to condemn ourselves, and there is a time for that, it is not a step that can be skipped, but then we must forgive ourselves in order to accept grace. I am thankful that I am learning to forgive myself.

I am naturally very hard on myself. Some have called me a perfectionist. That doesn't mean I have a perfect house, on the contrary, I can't EVER have a perfect house BECAUSE I'm a perfectionist. However, I am learning to accept "good enough" and prioritizing some things and accepting I cannot do everything.

So I've missed a few "thankful" posts. I would have liked to stay on top of this, but I started again today and will try to continue. Forgiving myself for my shortfall allows me to continue on more good work that I would not have done if I could not forgive myself. So I am thankful for it and for the grace of God who supports me each day in my growth as a parent, wife, daughter and friend.

At the Pumpkin Patch. No makeup. Just family memories.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

MOPS: Family Goals

There was a wonderful speaker today at my MOPS meeting. She spoke about the process she has gone through for setting family goals. Lately I have been trying to be more intentional in my life and this really fit right in to what I have been trying to accomplish. She stated how only 3% of people write down their goals and something like 17% make goals, but don't write them down. Everybody else just goes with the flow without making goals.

MOPS Craft Project: Pumpkins
While I'm definitely in the 17%, I decided that I am going to now be in the 3%. Of course I have written down some goals over the years, but I never thought to organize them the way she described. I am a very "organized" person in some ways but not so much in other ways. In an effort to achieve organization, I keep a bunch of lists. Some are on paper and some in my head. I am not able to keep track of everything without my lists. I don't know why it didn't occur to me to make a very specific written list of my goals.

I began on paper to set my priorities:

  1. God
  2. Marriage
  3. My Children
  4. Extended Family
  5. Friends
  6. Community
Based on this list I went on to list categories of my life I would like to set goals for. Then I numbered them in a general priority. In each category I wanted to be sure to write down some accomplishments as well as what I am trying to achieve. I think it is important to see how far you've come as well as looking at where you want to go. 

GOALS:

  1. Faith: I have a prayer list started and I do spend time reading the Bible both myself and with the children, but this area definitely needs work. I would like to set aside time for a daily devotional. Consistent Bible study. Daily Bible reading. Reading the bible daily with the kids. Family worship. Find a church family. Sharing my faith with confidence when the Spirit moves me.
  2. Marriage: We have both become more intentional about our marriage. We make sure to have at least one date per month. We do spend time talking about the budget, the children and things we would like to do together. I would like to set a more regular time to plan our goals. I would like to set aside a weekly date at home since we can't really afford to go out more than once per month. 
  3. Family: I love being a SAHM! Homeschooling right now is about giving them varied experiences and having fun. We are starting to make some friends here and we are doing weekly activities to get the kids out of the house. I have a general curriculum going for the children's preschool. David and I both have one-on-one time with each of the children and I want to make sure to continue that. I want to continue to get my introverted self out to let the kids make friends and learn to interact with a variety of different people. I want to continue to schedule outings for the children both during the week and on weekends with Daddy. 
  4. Finances: The only way we were able to move closer to David's work this year was because of our family commitment to getting out of debt and saving up cash for the move. We have been doing great for over two years now thanks to Dave Ramsey and following the "baby steps". I would like to have regular monthly budget meetings, not just when there is a change in the budget. 
  5. Household: After getting settled into our new home here, it took a while, but I was able to set a semi-routine for household maintenance. I have tried charts and the index card system, but what works best for me is a general "schedule" of chores. I put a few on each day of the week and try to get them done that day. (I actually typed up and laminated this weekly schedule.) Spreading them out helps me to feel like I can accomplish something each day without getting overwhelmed. If I can't get everything done one week, on the following week I focus on what I didn't get done the week before. One of my goals since before we moved is to reduce "STUFF" and we are still working on that. It is a constant process because STUFF continues to magically appear in our home. One thing that stuck with me is the "Give Away/Put Away/Throw Away" Boxes idea from a book I once read on home organization. I would like to make it a monthly activity to go around the house and sort things that are laying around into one of these three categories, preferably with help from the family. Reducing clutter is a cyclical job just like dishes and laundry. It never ends.
  6. Health: We are good about yearly checkups with the doctor. We eat gluten-free and mostly lower-carbohydrate for the adults. We like to get out of the house and take a walk together. I think we are all overdue for dental visits. I would like to get on the elliptical at least 3x/week and do at least 1/2 hour of yoga on the days that I don't. Right now it isn't always attainable, but it is a good goal to shoot for. I want to continue learning about essential oils and prevention of illnesses. 
  7. Studies and Personal Growth: I am really fascinated with essential oils right now, so I will continue my research. I would like to teach a class on Essential Oils 101 for some friends who have asked for one. I also want to read some books on Curriculum Options for Homeschooling my children.
  8. Extended Family and Friends: We keep in touch by phone, email and Facebook with many friends and family. I want to plan monthly trips to visit my mother and in-laws with the children during weekdays and at least once a month with David on a weekend day. We have talked about a trip to visit extended family in Alaska and I would like to set a date and make more specific plans. I want to be good about keeping up with birthday cards, emails, sending pictures of the kids to people who aren't on Facebook and reading my friends' blogs. I want to make more of an effort to be a loving support of those around me. I want to set aside time to spend with my friends who live near and time to talk on the phone with those who live far away. This is something that is very difficult for me.
  9. Crafts: I love crafts. Nothing says "I care about you" like something hand made. I especially like useful things. I am very creative but not as organized about this as I would like to be. This year I have actually planned and gathered the materials for making Christmas gifts with plenty of time to make them. I want to set a goal to plan making Christmas and Birthday gifts ahead (including a budget) so I am not rushing to finish at the last minute. I would like to have a stock of handmade gifts to give for unexpected events and maybe even to bring to craft fairs or craft exchanges. 
  10. Communication: We are pretty good at staying in touch with family and friends through different methods. I keep up two Blogs, one for my family and homeschooling (the one you are reading) and also my Essential Wisdom & Nutrition Blog which has evolved from just nutrition to include also essential oil supplementation. I feel kind of scattered with blogging sometimes, but  I have made improvements and maybe by setting some goals it will all come together. Some people read my blogs and others just read Facebook. Some refuse to go on the internet at all unless they are checking their email only, so I try to send them more personal updates. I would like to set a schedule to be more consistent in my blog writing so people we care about will know where to go to read updates. I want to be consistent about sending birthday cards and letting the people I care about know that I do.
I might add more later but this is what I came up with today during the children's nap time. I definitely need to focus on just a couple goals at a time, but it feels good to have it all written down. What goals are you working on? What goals have you met recently? Do you write down your goals?

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Favorite Crafts

List It Tuesday

I thought I would start with my favorite crafts. I love crafts. I always have. It is really hard not to go crazy at the craft store or office supply store. In no particular order:


  • Re-purpose-ing, now also known as up-cycling. I love jars, especially. Empty jars, especially big ones from Costco nuts or Mayonnaise. I usually remove the old label and sometimes, if I use it to contain a gift or something, I will glue on a new label I cut out of scrapbooking paper. I use decoupage glue so that it becomes waterproof, then I can write on it with a a permanent marker. Kids love getting a jar full of random things for their birthdays. I love repurposing other things too. I totally want to make my daughter a play kitchen out of an old night stand or something soon, but I don't think we have the room for it right now.
  • Sewing. Again, I especially love to sew gifts. There is nothing that says "I really put thought into your gift" like a home-sewn craft. Of course you have to get really creative, but with Pinterest, these days, there are lots of free patterns and ideas. Lately I have made hand-sewn cards in a kind of applique style.
Mother's Day Cards, machine sewn applique
Baby Shower Gift
One for Big Sis and one for Baby Sis
  • Cross stitch. I don't know why, but I like counted cross stitch. I love how the pixels you put on a canvas eventually meld to reveal the big picture. I don't have a lot of time to cross stitch but it saved my sanity when I used to work and had a lot of downtime and after my surgery two years ago I couldn't do anything and cross stitch helped me pass the time, plus I made everyone's Christmas gifts by hand that year.
Geeky Cross-Stitch I made for my husband on Father's Day
It means "there's no place like home"
  • Scrapbooking. I have NO time to scrapbook, nor do I have the budget, but I love to do it. I am still working on my wedding album (we have been married seven years) but I did finish my daughter's baby book. After I finish my son's baby book I will probably just do digital scrapbooking. I have an album for every year saved on my iPhoto, ready to order when we have the money to order it. I have some scrapbooking supplies but I use them for card-making, repurposing and random projects more than I do for scrapbooking.

  • Cake Decorating. I always make my children's birthday cakes, and sometimes my nieces' cakes, but I really love adult birthday cakes too, which tend to have a "flavor theme" instead of a cartoon character. I like making desserts  or my husband's work too because they are always very appreciated. I make gluten-free and regular cakes. I took a cake decorating class on a whim back in college and it has paid for itself many times over.
"Boots" Cake

"Thomas" Cake
  • Organizing. (Is that a craft? sure it is!) You can't tell by looking at my house but I am in a constant state of "getting organized" so it must be a craft! I love bins and those cute little photo-organizing boxes. I love dollar store plastic bins too, especially if they are different colors. I love binders and lists, so I keep my lists organized... in binders. Apparently I have a type of ADD (without hyperactivity) which I have compensated for by making lots of lists and keeping obsessively organized, but it works, so I'm embracing it. 
  • Cooking. My addiction to office supplies is only overshadowed by my love for cooking tools. I sold Pampered Chef for a while, mostly to get all the discounted stuff. They have the best quality kitchen tools, many of the ones I have I got before I got married and they are still in great condition. My kitchen would not be complete without my Kitchenaid Mixer, however, which is indispensable if doing any gluten-free cooking.
  • Photoshop Elements. I recently discovered Elements. It was given to me as a gift but it took me a year to really sit down and figure it out. It really takes a project to inspire you to learn a new program, otherwise the skills are all just theoretical. I'm still playing with it but is really handy for making business cards, logos and cute
  • Homeschooling or Kids Crafts. I love preparing and organizing crafts for kids to do. Luckily my kids (and their friends and cousins) love to do "projects"--as we call them-- and I get to do this for get-togethers and birthday parties. I used to do daycare and this was the funnest part. Now I'm homeschooling and my precocious 3 1/2 year old loves to paint, craft and cook too. Eventually I will teach her to sew and decorate cakes if she wants to learn, but these days we do a lot of theme crafts to make learning fun instead of a chore. Right now I enjoy designing my own curriculum around her interests. Some people call it "unschooling" but that sounds so unstructured compared to what we do, I like to call it Intentional Learning. 
Painting with Pudding

Mixing together the Play Rice we dyed with food color.




Sunday, September 15, 2013

Lying Liers and Their Lies

I have always been fascinated by body language. It might be the introvert in me, or maybe I just like people watching. I have read books like "Your Body Doesn't Lie" (about applied kinesiology) and I am fascinated by Metalists. I don't believe anyone can "read minds" but I do believe some of us can spot visual cues more naturally and intuitively than others.

I recently watched a TED talk about How to Spot a Liar. The speaker, Pamela Meyer, says that many times we are willing participants in a lie. At first I thought she was a pessimist, but the more I thought about it there more I guess it must be true. If it is true, though, that people lie as much as she says we do, then I guess I understand why I seem to fail personality tests because "nobody is that honest". REALLY?? I beg to differ. I must be more honest than the average person, but I consider myself to have plenty of tact and I choose to use diplomacy and redirection rather than flat out white lies, but technically I guess that is lying by omission. Or whatever?? I am often just wanting to avoid hurting someone's feelings.

So it made me sad. That we lie to each other. It is part of our culture. Does it have to be? Is it true that we perpetuate this in our society and that we are often willing participants in the lie? We look the other way, so to speak, or even lie to ourselves and acknowledge the lie as truth, then why do we do this? Does it serve a purpose or does it just add to the confusion of the thread of reality that we claim to hold on to? What is important here?

Lies do not matter as much from people who don't matter as much to you so I have to examine it from the perspective of a loving and trusting relationship. That of spouses, maybe. Meyer says that spouses lie more to each other than people who are dating. WOW. Ok, lets assume that it's true. Why is this the case? I guess it depends on the people and what they are lying about.

If a lie is self-serving and to protect one from the consequences of something they have done wrong, then lying is bad. Sure, white lies are still lies, but do we want truth or do we want kindness? If the truth is not kind, and you really love a person, are you going to tell them the truth or are you going to be kind? Do we fault people for wanting to be kind? Do we fault people who tell the truth even if it hurts? We can't have it both ways.

In friendships we cannot keep friends if we are brutally honest all of the time. Nor can we keep from annoying people if we say "that's not true, you just said that to be nice" all the time. It is hard for a perceptive person such as myself to accept lies. I thought it was because I wanted honest interactions, but maybe it is OK to accept kindness too. If I have to choose, I would choose kindness from those who I know love me.

"But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; 

but the greatest of these is love." -- 1 Corinthinans 13:13


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Resolving Contradictory Values in Our Society (or Teaching a Three Year Old Confidence Without Pride)

Boasting. Confidence. Pride. Gratitude. Self-awareness. Faith. Dignity. Self-expression.

As a mother of a little girl (but this goes for boys too) I have been pondering how to give her confidence without pride. How to teach her gratitude instead of boasting. How to teach her self-awareness and at the same time teach her to appreciate being created by a perfect God who loves her. How to teach dignity while allowing for self-expression.

We tell her how smart, brave, cooperative, friendly, kind and yes, even beautiful she is. However, I cringe when I hear her say "I'm so pretty!" When someone gives her a compliment, her reply is usually "Uh huh!" We are working on "thank you."

To those without faith in the Lord, it may seem like our world is confusing and holds such contradictory values. Our society puts the spotlight on gorgeous people who seem "perfect" on the outside and flaunt their "assets" while at the same time breastfeeding in public, doing something that is clean and natural, is a "controversial issue". We value autonomy and independence, but have given a whole generation of people "confidence" without earning it, which just leads to entitlement. No wonder teenagers are confused.

Christians are not immune to these woes of the world, but if we examine the Word, it becomes so simple:

...May I never boast, except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. -- Galatians 6:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. -- Psalm 139:14

If we make everything and do everything for Him, then we praise Him for what and who we are. Humility can co-exist with Pride in our Lord. Confidence in Him, Self-awareness of our need for Him. Gratitude for all the blessings He has given us, both material and spiritual. This is what we can model for our children. Simple? Yes. Easy? I'll let you know....

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Summer Fun

Our days are filled with picnics, parks and water play. Blueberry has started some preschool again because she wanted to. I started talking about school starting again and she didn't want to wait until fall. Her vocabulary expands daily and she is starting to recognize words so I am taking advantage of her enthusiasm. She is starting to understand number values and has been doing minus 1 subtraction. 

Tiger (a.k.a. Buggaboo) has started signing "milk" and "up". He has a definite "affirmative" sound when I ask him a question. His needs are easy to figure out. He is an incredibly mellow and smiley little boy. Or should I say "big boy". He is huge. He is in the 95%ile for height. We are pretty sure he is going to be taller than Blueberry by the time he is 2 years old. He is rolling over and trying to push himself into other directions. He likes to observe everything and giggles at his sister.

Coffee with Blueberry and Nonna (my mom)

Beading Bracelets



Making new play rice. Mixing the colors together.

treasure discovery bottle
If you have treasure, you must have a treasure map!


Confetti discovery bottle.

Tummy time.

Two Letter Tulips printed on magnetic paper.

Having fun at the MOPS Splash and Play event.




Blueberry picking at Big Bend Berries in Roseburg

"Mommy I'm a hard worker!"

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Gestational Diabetes, yay.... (late onset)

I know I am sensitive to sugar. Some may call it insulin resistant, though I haven't been diagnosed. I just know if I eat too much (read: any) sugar I don't feel great, so for the most part I try to avoid it. Also eating sugar makes me crave sugar more, which is usually an indication of mild addiction, which usually also indicates a sensitivity.

I passed my 3 hour Glucose test with flying colors over a month ago, but because my 1 hour test was slightly high, my midwife had me test my blood sugar at home (4 times per day, for a few days) about a month after the lab test. They do this so they can catch any late-onset gestational diabetics. Those who may not develop symptoms until later, but can still be helped by a modified diet. I am very glad that they do this. I think it should be standard practice with borderline patients.

Having worked in a lab, I knew before I even brought my home test results in to be evaluated that I was going to be over the cutoff. I wasn't surprised when the midwife told me I had "crossed over to the dark side" and needed diabetic education. She prescribed a glucose monitor and had me come back in for a gestational diabetes consult.

She said that since my fasting tests were high, but my after-meals tests were mostly pretty good, that she believes I probably have what is called Dawn Syndrome. After night fasting the liver dumps a bunch of glucose into the bloodstream in the early morning. Due to hormones that are produced by the placenta causing some insulin resistance, it causes blood sugar levels to spike because the body is unable to regulate the blood sugar levels.


Gestational diabetes is different than Type I or Type II in that in most cases it usually goes away after delivery of the baby and placenta. As my midwife explained (she is also a certified diabetic educator), the diet prescribed is different also because of the unique dietary restrictions and increased protein (and other nutrient) needs of a pregnant woman.

The midwife told me that my post-meal levels would have been bad too if I ate poorly, but she knows I don't. She has hope that with some tweaking of my diet, I can regulate it without needing medication. She also said I have a week to get my fasting levels under 95 and my post-meals under 130. As if I needed more motivation...

There are a few complications that can arise from gestational diabetes. It is important to regulate blood sugars during pregnancy because it can cause the baby to gain too much weight. It can cause too much amniotic fluid, which then becomes dilute and slows the maturing of the lungs in the baby. It can put the mother at a higher risk for pre-eclampsia as well as pre-term labor and other complications.

While I was waiting to turn in my results, knowing that they were going to tell me they were too high, I began to research gestational diabetes. One of the best layperson's descriptions can be found on this blog. I am trying to take it in stride. I am glad to be prescribed a glucose monitor so I have one for future use since I will probably be needing to eat right to prevent type II diabetes.

Last night I came home and ate my prescribed dinner and pre-bedtime snack. This morning my fasting glucose was down to 97 (it was averaging around 110 two weeks ago). That already gave me hope that given a few more days of this plan I can get it under 95. After breakfast it was 109, already within great range. My post prandial (after meal) levels were not horrible before. The average was under the cutoff but some did go over. I hope that my commitment to this will pay off. The ultimate goal is to avoid medication, have a healthy baby and be a healthy mom.

It was reassuring to see results so soon, as I have been concentrating more on what I eat and eating more regularly since doing my first at-home testing. It looks like I don't have to change much to get on track and I can't tell you how relieved I am. I am so thankful of my wonderfully supportive husband who decided he wanted to eat healthier too and help me prepare his lunches for the week while also prepping food for me to eat more vegetables during the day. Not only is he taking much healthier lunches but we cut the cost of his food for work down by 30%. Healthier and cheaper, who knew??

His support inspires me and I am glad I can inspire him too. We make a great team. There is not much time left and soon we will be welcoming a new little member of our family.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Saying Goodbye to Our Sweet Harlie



RIP Sweet Grandma Harlie Dog 1/25/2002-12/1/2012

The first time I met Harlie I bonded with her. We met three of the Bittner's dogs and only intended to take one home. Even though she was older, she was the sweetest and softest dog I had ever met. We decided that even though she may not have many years left that we would love her and give her a home as well as Kaci.

She was the calm one of the two and it was great to see how different their personalities were. At the same time when it was time to play, she could run and jump after the stick or frisbee as well as any dog half her age. She could get really rowdy with David when there was something to chase.

When I was pregnant the first time I noticed that she started acting differently when I took her to the dog park. She would not wander away when off the leash and while not aggressive, she would watch over me and stay close. If anyone came close to me to talk to me she was on alert. She knew something was different and she was protecting me. I am glad we never had to test it out, but I was confident that both Harlie and Kaci would fight to protect anyone in our family.

We could not have asked for better dogs to be around children. Harlie took it upon herself to patrol the house every night and would check in on our daughter before settling in to sleep on her doggie bed. We called her "grandma doggie" because she seemed to watch over everyone in the family. She was so tolerant of our nieces and nephew when they dressed her up or hung on her. If there was a stranger in the house or at the door she would position herself between them and the children in a protective stance. Not threatening, just watchful.

She had the softest fur of any dog I have ever met. I loved petting her. She loved walks and going to the dog park. Even though we always had two chewies for the dogs, if she wanted the one Kaci had she would either lick her face until Kaci got tired of it or sit on her. That always made us laugh! While she was possessive of chewies with Kaci, if a child picked up the chewie she would just stare at us as if to say “uhm... she has my chewie... help...” but would hardly move if the child offered it back to her, not wanting to take it from the child.

Through her adoption we were also able to get to know a special family that we may not have gotten to know otherwise. Our prayers go out to the Bittners too.

Harlie passed peacefully Saturday December 1st, 2012 and will be fondly remembered by our family. She was a brave and sweet dog until the end. We love you Harlie!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Food Budget Challenges

We have been successfully using a budget plan for over a year now. (Thanks to Dave Ramsey) It is quite an accomplishment for us. We have paid off all of our credit card and medical debt and all we have left is David's student loans.

One thing I have still found challenging, however, is budgeting food. The constant change in the price of food, the variety that I like to cook, examining the various purchasing options (local food store vs. Costco wholesale), perishability (is that a word?), etc. There are so many variables, plus the fact that I just haven't gotten this meal planning thing down because either I plan too much or I don't plan enough or something comes up like getting invited over for dinner last-minute and then what do you do with what you planned to make....

Food was also the hardest to budget because of my fear of depriving my family of nutrition. Weighing the value based on NUTRITIONAL VALUE instead of weight or volume is very complex. While refined food is cheaper, it is also less nutritional. While I want to buy nutritional food, I also have to stay within a certain budget that is reasonable for our overall budget. Then there is that thing that I'm a foodie. I love deli olives and fancy cheeses. I love to try new recipes with obscure ingredients like that $6 bottle of gluten-free soy sauce that I will use only once a month that I really cannot justify in the budget any more.

Two months ago it occurred to me that what worked for our overall budget could work for our food budget. Namely itemization and prioritization of items. Like Dave Ramsey's irregular income budget (which you can print for free off his website) you make a list of all the things you buy and their average cost, then you prioritize the most important and then the next most important, until you get to the end. Because of the varying cost of food, I must buy proteins and vegetables, dairy and eggs before I buy gluten-free bread or convenience snacks for my toddler. If the price of meat goes up, things at the bottom of the list just don't get purchased that month. It makes so much sense to me I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner.

Yes, it is tedious at first to write down everything we buy and the cost. I grouped items on a spreadsheet by type (meats, vegetables, dairy, frozen (veg and fruit), non-perishable, convenience-packaged food (string cheese, individual yogurt, etc.), and other. The first month I just tried to stay on budget and bought things like I normally did. The second month I put the items in order of priority. Tried to buy the things we needed before the lower-priority items. I found that just doing this helped me stay on budget better. This is the third month and I am refining my list.

Not only do I have a better idea of what things cost, I also have a better idea of our monthly consumption of each group of items. That is very useful when budgeting because then you can see if it is worthwhile to buy in bulk. I was hesitating to buy some more perishable items (dairy and deli meats) at Costco for fear that they would spoil before we ate them, but it turns out we can save about 30% by buying certain items now because I know we will go through them.

For now I am still keeping track of each item and how much I am buying in each category to see if I can refine the system more, but it really seems to be helping me plan meals better. I know I am kind of a perfectionist but making the most of our food budget is my job. I take it seriously.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Will It Be The Perfect Christmas?

My childhood memories of Christmas include baking cookies, decorating the tree, making ornaments, visiting with friends and family, big dinners, homemade tortellini, hot cocoa and cinnamon rolls or homemade donuts on Christmas morning. Every year I would look forward to unwrap the carefully packaged ornaments to rediscover each and every one. Those familiar objects brought back memories of past Christmases. Each one being linked to a person, meaning or moment. Setting up the nativity was also a big part of my childhood Christmas. I always had more fun watching people open the presents I gave them than opening my own gifts.

We are preparing to move soon, so packing has begun. While I am good at organizing, David has to do all the heavy lifting due to my pregnant state. We debated not putting up a tree this year since we will be moving shortly after Christmas and after our son is born. But these things times are not the times to be practical. It is the little family traditions and memories that enrich our family and our daughter's life.

Ours will not be the Pinterest Perfect Christmas, but it will be full of tradition and familiarity. We will make ornaments and decorate our tree. We will rejoice for the birth of our Lord and Savior and these beautiful, familiar things will enrich and enhance the memory of our celebration for years to come. Taking the time to do so is a form of worship. Some argue that the Christmas tree originates from pagan traditions, but I would argue that in my life and in my family it has always been a way to honor our own traditions and our own Faith. It is my belief that rituals and traditions are all about intent. "As for me and my house, we serve the Lord."

We have so very few traditions any more. We will savor the ones we have and try to make new ones. Making the most out of each time and situation. Is every Christmas perfect? Yes. It is what you make of it, not because of how much money you spend or whether you get to see everyone you intend to or make the number of batches of cookies that you think you should (or whether they all turn out as they should).

This year, as in the year I was pregnant with Blueberry, there has been some illness in the family that would threaten my health at a very vulnerable time. It saddens me to disappoint people by staying away from those sick and exposed, but my hope is that they understand the situation and forgive the inevitability of my absence from their holidays. As for my little family, we will make the most of this time. We hope that others will not let this ruin relationships (or their own holidays) so we can enjoy future holidays together when everyone is healthy. Families are complicated.

So this will not be the perfect Christmas because we have to disappoint people. It WILL be the perfect Christmas because of the memories we will build and the traditions that we keep. Will yours be the perfect Christmas?

Friday, June 1, 2012

Monthly Food Budget


(This is copied over from my Wisdom Nutrition blog)

The food budget is always a work in progress in my house. Eating mostly lower-carb and gluten-free whole foods is a challenge even with a liberal food budget but with our lifestyle choices (me being a SAHM) we have a tight budget and I am always working on how to minimize cost without compromising nutrition. Saving up leftover money from our budget allows us some luxuries like stocking up on some items at Costco.

We keep cutting back our food budget by finding new strategies and I was curious to see a national average. I wanted to see how we were doing. I came across the USDA Food Plans Average Cost of Food at Home which is updated monthly. It is fascinating how they break it down by different "plans". Even with our food restrictions we are still in the "thrifty" range so I'm patting myself on the back right now.

Here are some ways we cut back: (Please note this is only regarding food purchased to be prepared at home. The first thing you should cut back if you need to cut your food budget is eating out.)

Buying a Chest Freezer: This is a worthy investment. Don't buy all those bulk foods if you don't have a place to store them. How are you going to buy half a cow if you don't have a place to store it? How are you going to stock up when there is a great deal on anything that can be frozen if you don't have a place to put it? Of course, then you have to Cook out of the Freezer.

Getting smart about wholesale purchases: Costco (or whatever wholesale store you shop) is great but you go in there and drop $100 without even filling up your cart. That is not a problem unless you are buying empty calories, things that spoil quickly or things you wouldn't normally buy. Things I never buy at Costco: things I wouldn't buy a lot of if they came in a smaller package, produce, cookies, candies, empty calorie snack foods (I make an exception for whole-grain snacks for my daughter like Annie's snack variety pack), things I don't go through a lot of (examples: spices, or ingredients I only use for that one dish I make twice a year, etc.) Great things to buy at Costco: highly nutritious foods that have long shelf-lives or can be frozen (if you have the freezer space), and things you know you will use a lot of. Compare prices for everything, just because it is at Costco, doesn't mean you can't find it cheaper per unit somewhere else. Always go with a list!

Make the most of bulk foods: Maybe I'm spoiled but my local grocery store recently remodeled and expanded their bulk foods section. Herbs and spices are more fresh and SOOOOOO much cheaper in bulk. Just reuse the shaker bottles you already have, or find some glass jars at a yard sale or thrift store. I have been using mason jars to store things more and more. Compare prices because often staples like rice, pasta, flour, sugar, salt, etc are ALL cheaper in bulk.

Buy Local: Local beef, local eggs, local produce. Often cheaper than the free-range store-bought and more nutritionally packed too. Produce is especially fresh if purchased from a CSA or U-Pick farm. As I already mentioned beef, if bought as a portion of a whole cow usually comes at a fraction of the cost that you would pay if you bought some of the cuts you get individually. Check Local Harvest for one near you. Here in Oregon we don't get much local produce until June and it sometimes lasts through October, but get it while you can. We do a lot of freezing of our favorites like blueberries and peaches. I plan to do more canning this year, but mostly tomatoes as I am trying to get away from using store-bought canned tomatoes because of concerns with BHT in the packaging. Special note about eggs: for the price, it is more important that you know where they are coming from and that the animals are healthy than getting the best "deal" so ask the farmer what they feed the hens and check out their living space.

Price Foods Online: Some examples of high-nutrition-content foods I have found much cheaper online (often free shipping with minimum purchase) are: Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, Unsweetened Grated Coconut, Sesame Seed Butter, Extremely Fresh and Organic Herbal Teas (high mineral content), and non-denatured whey protein powder (we get Nectar brand.) Some people don't look online just because they expect to have to pay shipping. If there is a shipping cost, just factor it into your comparison calculation.

Read Labels and Try the Generic: Sometimes you will find that the generic or store brand has the same or better ingredients than the name brand. I actually prefer the generic versions of some items. Try new things. Did you know that credit card companies contract with Mattel to get their logos on their toys because studies show we are THAT loyal to brands that if we are exposed to them often as children we are more likely to stick to that brand as we get older. Think about that one...

Coupons: I had to throw this in even though I'm no expert. Some people can get into this and save a ton of money. If you have a good resource for this, please feel free to leave it in the comments. The grocery store we use has the cheapest prices of all of the other stores by far but they don't accept coupons so I don't use them often. I personally find that where I live it is not worth my time and gas money to go to all of the different stores to save just a few cents, but other cities might be different. I also have a hard time finding coupons for the things I buy since I don't buy a lot of prepackaged or name brand foods.

Meal Planning: I don't know how much money I save meal planning, as this was just one of many things I did to cut back our food budget. The fewer trips to the grocery store might  count for something. This frugal mom did find that she cut back significantly by meal planning for her large family. Meal planning helped me more with my stress level and organization than anything, but it also helped me to get more into a rhythm of using what I had first instead of just stocking up on foods I liked to cook with and getting creative when it was time to cook dinner (which I admit has been my strategy until more recently). Even if you can't stick to it from week to week, try meal planning as a way to reorganize yourself mentally. I try to plan Lunch and Dinner every day and breakfasts/brunches on weekends.

Planned-Overs: My mother-in-law taught me this term and I liked it. Instead of making a large pan of enchiladas, split it up into different pans for each meal you plan to serve, so there is only enough for each person to have their appropriately size serving. If I make a big pan, my dear husband (who LOVES enchiladas, his mom said that she never could make ENOUGH enchiladas when all the kids were at home) will eat much more than he should just because they taste good but then I don't have enough for another meal, so essentially messing with my plan. If I make two pans and I say "this one is for Friday", or BETTER YET! not even cook the second one and just freeze it ready to go in the oven then I have enough for two meals. Some people have different names for this and some working moms prep all of their dinners the weekend before. I have never been able to make that work, but when I do get inspired to make something, it only takes a little more time to make a second or third batch, saving me much more time later.

Children: Little ones are great at self-regulating so it can be frustrating when some days they eat twice as much as you do and other days they merely nibble. I don't believe in rationing food for children but do BEGIN with smaller portions so there is less waste. This also helps them to eat a balanced meal. 1 tablespoon per year of their age for each food group (protein, grain, vegetable, fruit or second vegetable) plus milk. Tell them they at least have to try some of the other food groups before they get more of their preferred food. This encourages them to try a variety and allows you to give them more as needed without having to throw away a large portion. I will reheat food once, same day only. Of course, make sure that uneaten food is not left out for long periods of time and follow food handling safety precautions. Err on the side of caution: when in doubt, throw it out!

Pregnancy, Breastfeeding and Children under 5: If you are struggling with your food budget, do see if you qualify for food assistance like WIC. They have a lot of great nutrition resources and education for young families as well as financial support for putting food on the table. They provide food assistance for women who are pregnant or breastfeeding and any children up to the age of 5 if the family meets the income restrictions. Their Farm Direct program even allows beneficiaries to purchase locally grown vegetables and fruit directly from farms or farmer's markets that participate in the program. Their food choices have expanded recently to allow for gluten-free and dairy-free substitutions.

Do you have any strategies not listed here? How do these strategies work for you? 

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

WYSIWYG of Life

[ photo removed to avoid copyright infringement ]

In HTML code a WYSIWYG editor, or "What You See Is What You Get" is one where instead of typing out the code, you have a program that lets you click and drag elements to create a web page as it would be seen in a browser. Years ago I learned HTML code and I used to enjoy coding out pages, but lately I have used WYSIWYG editors more. It saves time but the code gets really messy because the WYSIWYG programs are not designed to clean up unnecessary coding from editing you might clean up if you were coding it directly. You don't see the messy code, but I know it's there. When talking to other web designers I mention reluctantly that I use WYSIWYG because it saves time, but I get embarrassed by how messy the coding is. I want to yell "Don't look at my source!!"

I was thinking about how as mothers we feel guilty whenever we take shortcuts or stash all our laundry in the bedroom when someone is dropping by on short notice. You know what I'm talking about! Today I encountered two articles on this topic. The first, called "Your Children Want YOU" is regarding how we get all these ideas of the kind of mom we want to be from seeing parenting magazines or the latest Pinterest fad. We feel like we are not enough when we see all of these overachieving housewives. Then another article called "I'm Never Inviting You to My House" is an older article but it talks about how we fix up our house for company and give them the impression that we keep the perfect house and it alienates them because they don't feel like they can measure up. I have fallen into both of these traps. Honestly, I have also not invited people over because I didn't think I could tidy up in time or just didn't have the energy to.

I don't want to do this any more. Yes, I use a WYSIWIG editor. Yes, I store my unfolded clean laundry in the bedroom when people come over. I settle for "good enough"on the housework on most days because that is what I can do. Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough but I know my priority is spending time with my daughter.

I hope we can all admit we take shortcuts and that is OK, but acknowledging that we do and not being ashamed that our house is "clean but not perfect". We live in our houses and don't hire a maid, but our children are happy and healthy.